I was single for 33 years before I met and fell in love with Theresa. During that time, I had countless girlfriends and led a life many men who love being with women only fantasize about. However, I gave it all up—gladly—to have what I really wanted.
You see, by having lots of lovers, I avoided being fully present for any of them. This arrangement protected me from the possibility of getting hurt because I never really opened my heart to any of them. By staying constantly busy with my work and with women, I avoided addressing my emptiness and fears, and didn’t take the time to figure out what I really wanted. My carefree life was a complex distraction protecting me from my deep loneliness. The more my reputation grew as a Romeo, the more women appeared in my life, while the dysfunction I witnessed in my friends marriages encouraged me to continue along my path of total freedom and abandonment to pleasure.
Even though my initial enthusiasm for this lifestyle was great, over the years, it took it’s toll on my spirit. Eventually, the thrills wore thin, leaving me exactly where I started—empty, afraid and lonely. However, by then, no amount of women or work could distract me from its ominous presence.
Fortunately, it was at about that time that I first met and fell in love with Theresa. Although I knew she was the one for me the instant I saw her, it took me a few years to drop my fears and my defenses, and fully open my heart to this incredible woman. I would not trade my current life with only her for my former life with lots of lovers. I have discovered that to have the type of relationship I truly want, I only need one woman; the one that I love with all of my heart and soul, and who is capable of offering me her open-hearted love in return. This woman has become my most valued treasure in life. With her, life has become a spiritual journey of two souls and love has become the guiding light in my life. Our masculine and feminine polarity continues to fuse into powerful explosions of light causing our consciousness to expand. Through this relationship, the beauty of our world has been revealed to me, my heart is more open, my path has become clear, and I can now relax into being fully present to her, to my self and to life.
For all of these reasons, and many more that go beyond the scope of today’s blog, I believe in conscious monogamy. I have traveled both roads with much enthusiasm and only wish I had found Theresa sooner.
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